Life’s a funny dance, isn’t it? You’re toddling around trying not to say “shit” within earshot of adults. Fast forward a bit, and you’re saying “fudge” instead of “fuck” because a pair of innocent ears (yes, the little buggers soak up words like a sponge) are in the vicinity. Yep, that’s life, either too young or too old—but rarely just right (though we are all perfect, or so my self-help book says).

When I was just a little sprout, I remember the constant crackdown from my elders: “Mind your language!” Oy, the stress of accidental slips—ugh! Back then, cursing was like a secret language spoken in hushed tones, caught between the glare of adult-sized judgments and childhood Reverie.

Then adulthood came knocking. Surprise! (Plot twist: It’s just kiddie version two point oh.) Suddenly, it was me pulling a “mind your Ps and Qs” with miniature versions of my past self (doppelgangers, I tell you). Funny how the universe has a way of paying it forward.

That’s the gig though, everyone in life’s charade. First, avoid sounding like a salty old sailor; then, protect the cherubic innocence of others from the salty sailor lurking in you. Hilarious, really—the circle of linguistics.